7 Things You Need to Know About Narcissists, From A Psycholo
Jan 9, 2015 17:49:17 GMT -6
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Post by Mystic Wanderer on Jan 9, 2015 17:49:17 GMT -6
Narcissists are all around us. They can be compared to psychic vampires, draining our energy, and are very challenging to deal with. In this article, Dr. Kelly Neff, gives a personal perspective as a social psychologist and shares personal experiences with narcissists in her daily life.
It is estimated that 6.2% of the US population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
If you know someone who meets five of the following criteria, they probably have NPD:
themindunleashed.org/2014/09/7-things-need-know-co-existing-narcissists.html
There are signs that point to someone being a narcissist, and things that you can do "in addition to comparing their behaviors to the diagnostic criteria listed above":
Oh Yes! I learned this the hard way! It took me over five years to get a co-worker "friend" to release her close attachment to me. We had been friends for the first three years, making our acquaintance a total of seven years, before I realized she had this disorder. Trying to get these people out of your life is almost impossible!
My friend has some of the symptoms/signs of being a narcissist, but she also shows all the behavioral signs of having BPD... Borderline Personality Disorder, which is even worse!
positivemed.com/2013/12/10/10-signs-of-borderline-personality-disorder/
I had a thread up on TOS about BPD that gained a lot of attention, but it was thrown in the trash bin when members started sharing things that were too personal and having the person they were talking about coming on the thread, and an out and out war ensued!!
I hated losing that thread; it had a lot of knowledgeable people in the psychology field that posted great information I wanted to keep!
Apparently, lots of people have encountered others with BPD. If you know someone showing these signs/symptoms, they may have BPD:
Here is a short quiz that will tell if YOU possibly have BPD:
psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm
Not only did I have this co-worker I was dealing with, but my husband also has BPD. Learning to live under the same roof with him has been a great challenge, but one I've learned how to cope with in my own way over the years. Leaving didn't work... they follow you!!!
Do you know someone who has either of these mental disorders? How did you handle it?
It is estimated that 6.2% of the US population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
If you know someone who meets five of the following criteria, they probably have NPD:
themindunleashed.org/2014/09/7-things-need-know-co-existing-narcissists.html
-Has a grandiose sense of self-importance, exaggerating their abilities and achievements
-Has persistent fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
-Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and should only associate with people of the same status
-Has a constant need for attention, affirmation and praise
-Has a strong sense of entitlement and an expectation of special treatment
-Is exploitative of others, taking advantage of them for personal gain
-Lacks empathy for others
-Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of them
-Regularly shows arrogant or haughty behaviors and attitudes
-Has persistent fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
-Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and should only associate with people of the same status
-Has a constant need for attention, affirmation and praise
-Has a strong sense of entitlement and an expectation of special treatment
-Is exploitative of others, taking advantage of them for personal gain
-Lacks empathy for others
-Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of them
-Regularly shows arrogant or haughty behaviors and attitudes
Ask Them Questions (Narcissists Like to Talk but not to Listen)
I learned from my partner intuitive sound healer Jimmy Ohm that the single best way to a spot narcissist is to ASK THEM QUESTIONS! Due to their inflated ego, they can’t help but share with you their exaggerated sense of achievement and accomplishments, their beliefs of how special and wonderful they are, and how everyone is so jealous of them. Even more so, narcissists like to talk, but they are usually not very good listeners. Often they glaze over when others are talking, only waiting for their turn to speak.
Examine Their Social Media Presence
Given the positive correlation between social media use and narcissism, if you suspect someone might be a narcissist, one of the easiest things you can do is examine their social media presence. Are they always posting status updates and commenting on everything? Do they frequently talk about themselves, their plans and their achievements online? While heavy social media use alone is not a definite indicator of narcissism, it, if this person is always on social media and also meets some of the narcissism criteria then they might be one of them.
Do They Involve You in Grandiose Schemes?
Narcissists have this way of convincing us that they know better and that they are the most capable person for any task. If someone repeatedly involves you grandiose schemes that never pan out, or is always talking about plans but ever actually following through, he or she could well be a narcissist.
Are They Manipulative?
Narcissists are skilled at the art of manipulation and getting what they want out of people. I think this ties back their lack of empathy and belief in their specialness and superiority. Often, this manipulation feels like ‘mind games’ where someone tells you what you want to hear but then does the opposite, or when someone leads you on to believe something about them or a situation that turns out to be false.
I learned from my partner intuitive sound healer Jimmy Ohm that the single best way to a spot narcissist is to ASK THEM QUESTIONS! Due to their inflated ego, they can’t help but share with you their exaggerated sense of achievement and accomplishments, their beliefs of how special and wonderful they are, and how everyone is so jealous of them. Even more so, narcissists like to talk, but they are usually not very good listeners. Often they glaze over when others are talking, only waiting for their turn to speak.
Examine Their Social Media Presence
Given the positive correlation between social media use and narcissism, if you suspect someone might be a narcissist, one of the easiest things you can do is examine their social media presence. Are they always posting status updates and commenting on everything? Do they frequently talk about themselves, their plans and their achievements online? While heavy social media use alone is not a definite indicator of narcissism, it, if this person is always on social media and also meets some of the narcissism criteria then they might be one of them.
Do They Involve You in Grandiose Schemes?
Narcissists have this way of convincing us that they know better and that they are the most capable person for any task. If someone repeatedly involves you grandiose schemes that never pan out, or is always talking about plans but ever actually following through, he or she could well be a narcissist.
Are They Manipulative?
Narcissists are skilled at the art of manipulation and getting what they want out of people. I think this ties back their lack of empathy and belief in their specialness and superiority. Often, this manipulation feels like ‘mind games’ where someone tells you what you want to hear but then does the opposite, or when someone leads you on to believe something about them or a situation that turns out to be false.
THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH NARCISSISTS IS TO LOVE THEM FROM AFAR!
Often, the people close to us like friends, bosses, work clients or even family members can be narcissists, and it can be challenging to coexist in this space with them. If you identify someone in your life as a narcissist, the single best thing you can do is to love them from afar. Loving them from afar does not mean that you completely shut them out of your life (although this is an effective strategy for some, especially those in extreme situations), but rather, that you withdraw some of your energy and instead of actively engaging, you hold space for them in hopes that someday, they will change. To me, loving them from afar means that you recognize you are powerless to change this person, and that spending time with them can be toxic to your well-being. Limiting your interactions and time spent, not playing into their grandiose schemes and not allowing yourself to be manipulated are all perfectly acceptable strategies.
Often, the people close to us like friends, bosses, work clients or even family members can be narcissists, and it can be challenging to coexist in this space with them. If you identify someone in your life as a narcissist, the single best thing you can do is to love them from afar. Loving them from afar does not mean that you completely shut them out of your life (although this is an effective strategy for some, especially those in extreme situations), but rather, that you withdraw some of your energy and instead of actively engaging, you hold space for them in hopes that someday, they will change. To me, loving them from afar means that you recognize you are powerless to change this person, and that spending time with them can be toxic to your well-being. Limiting your interactions and time spent, not playing into their grandiose schemes and not allowing yourself to be manipulated are all perfectly acceptable strategies.
My friend has some of the symptoms/signs of being a narcissist, but she also shows all the behavioral signs of having BPD... Borderline Personality Disorder, which is even worse!
positivemed.com/2013/12/10/10-signs-of-borderline-personality-disorder/
10 Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that generates significant emotional instability. This can lead to a variety of other stressful mental and behavioral problems.
With borderline personality disorder, a person may have a severely distorted self-image and feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Anger, impulsiveness, and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though they may desire to have loving and lasting relationships.
If you or someone you know have borderline personality disorder, don’t get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better with treatment and can live satisfying lives.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that generates significant emotional instability. This can lead to a variety of other stressful mental and behavioral problems.
With borderline personality disorder, a person may have a severely distorted self-image and feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Anger, impulsiveness, and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though they may desire to have loving and lasting relationships.
If you or someone you know have borderline personality disorder, don’t get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better with treatment and can live satisfying lives.
I had a thread up on TOS about BPD that gained a lot of attention, but it was thrown in the trash bin when members started sharing things that were too personal and having the person they were talking about coming on the thread, and an out and out war ensued!!
I hated losing that thread; it had a lot of knowledgeable people in the psychology field that posted great information I wanted to keep!
Apparently, lots of people have encountered others with BPD. If you know someone showing these signs/symptoms, they may have BPD:
Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:
*Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees, or illegal drug use
*Awareness of destructive behavior, including self-injury, while often feeling unable to change it
*Wide mood swings
*Short but intense episodes of anxiety or depression
*Inappropriate anger and antagonistic behavior, sometimes escalating into physical fights
*Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
*Suicidal behavior
*Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty, or hopeless
*Fear of being alone
*Feelings of self-hate and/or self-loathing
*Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees, or illegal drug use
*Awareness of destructive behavior, including self-injury, while often feeling unable to change it
*Wide mood swings
*Short but intense episodes of anxiety or depression
*Inappropriate anger and antagonistic behavior, sometimes escalating into physical fights
*Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
*Suicidal behavior
*Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty, or hopeless
*Fear of being alone
*Feelings of self-hate and/or self-loathing
psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm
Not only did I have this co-worker I was dealing with, but my husband also has BPD. Learning to live under the same roof with him has been a great challenge, but one I've learned how to cope with in my own way over the years. Leaving didn't work... they follow you!!!
Do you know someone who has either of these mental disorders? How did you handle it?