7 Things You Need to Know About Narcissists, From A Psycholo

I'd have to say I'm abnormally normal in a normally abnormal world. :)

I had to stop and think about that for a minute.  7/39   L_L

Mystic Wanderer,kdog,

I scored a 7 on the test. Although I'm sure I have other issues (OCD and who knows what else) at least Borderline Personality Disorder isn't one of them thank goodness! :)

Mystic Wanderer, I remember that thread! I just took the quiz - scored an 8. I feel for ya living with someone afflicted by this chaotic personality type.

I ejected the one I was involved with from my life. I was surprised he didn't come back - but then again, he'd been in a former relationship with someone just like him. I suppose they were much better suited to each other.

As I look back on it, (10 years later), I know that I also was in a mid-life crisis, so the combination of his BPD and my hormones made it synergistically AWFUL. Never have I been on such a terrible, mind-wrecking ride.

You are right, it is not quickly or easily identified - unless one knows what one is seeing in the pattern. It takes years to really get to know someone (to the extent that we can really 'know' each other at all)...and I admire your spunk in sticking with what must be a trying relationship.

As for narcissists, oh yes - I've known some of those, too. One of the most prominent cases is someone who was part of an organization to which I've belonged for 14 years. I stay away - and watch (but definitely do not "love") from afar. I can't stand her. wow

Mystic Wanderer,

My husband definitely has a little narcissism in him
(although he'll deny it... )

But I don't know if I would like him any other way to be honest, even tho at times he annoys me with his selfish self-centered ways
(that's part of his strong personality/character)

He is all about me, me, me
Where as I'm a 'we' person
(I'm optimistic while he's pessimistic....balance)

I will sacrifice my needs in order to keep him happy (my choice)
Yet he will do something knowing it will piss me off without any regards to my feelings
(which I've learned to deal with after nearly 30 yrs.-- I just expect it)

And yes, if it isn't his idea, well ya might as well keep your mouth shut
(yea right, I still say what I want to. LOL)



Now then, as far as the test goes...

I got a 5

Now I tried doing it on my husband and questions 9 & 10, I don't know if it may have more to do with his age and the meds he's on but his mood swings can come out of no where and sometimes can be verbally ugly

Then about an hour later, it's all fun and games again, like nothing ever happened
(no, I don't hold grudges & learned to blow off stupid arguments)

To be honest, kinda leaning towards getting older (age)
 I'm just accepting of the way he's becoming....understanding


Anyhow, his test results were 16
(to the best of my knowledge)



Now then, my older sister I bet would flunk that test in a heart beat
She is one odd duck....putting it mildly
Her way of thinking is waaaaay out there and then some
Not to mention her actions/moods
When she sends me an email she gives me her bio for the last 6 mos.
And calls, if she ever answers, I just let her do the talking....it's always "I this & I that"
Luckily we live 2,000 miles apart. kl5222a5cb

LMAO....sorry, but something about that struck me as funny!! (rofl)


No, he's never been tested, but I don't think that's it
 

Yes, he's narcissistic for sure
But as he's gotten older, in the past 3-4 years, what I am sensing is possibly, and I hate to say this but....
I'm leaning more towards dementia

He has what I call a 'brain freeze' a lot
the simplest question at times leaves him with an odd expression on his face & I can tell it didn't register
But what happens next is instead of saying he misunderstood, he'll lash out at me to cover up for his faltering  moment, which I've come to learn & accept

 It's a bitch getting old
I'm not there yet, but sometimes it gets to me watching my strong husband slowly go down

Guess I'm getting off topic here.....sorry



 

You guys sound just like me and my husband.  I give... he takes, never giving back.  I won't say it doesn't bother me, but I have learned that fusing about it won't change him, it will only start an argument that won't do any good, so I just go on about my business.

I've left him several times over the years, but that was worse than living with him. He stalked me, and I was afraid he would get me fired because he would come to my workplace and watch me through binoculars to see if I was talking to any other men. I was afraid he might hurt some innocent person that was just a co-worker. I stayed a nervous wreck wondering if he was lurking in the bushes watching me, etc.   So, anyway, I moved back and now we just kind of stay out of each other's space. 
With me working nights, I'm in bed when he is up, and visa versa.  
When he has a "temper tantrum"  I just leave the room and let him "have at it" by himself. 

I used to be miserable with him, but now, I've learned how to cope with it, and just do what I have to do to maintain my own sanity. 

I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I had an uncle that developed that. It's not easy to sit and watch them slip away like that.