Post by hitchensreborn on Feb 1, 2015 10:44:12 GMT -6
Not a fan of labels of these sorts beyond their use as casual insult or abbreviated descriptors.
Keep in mind psychology is a science where one can score high enough to be a psychopath on a test, but prove not to be in a later interview. Imagine receiving a blood test and being told you tested positive for cancer, you always will test positive for cancer, but you are cancer free and that this test is working as intended. Welcome to psychology.
Moreover, and a sincere query, what do we do when we recognize these traits in a person? My own experiences have been that it is a form of institutionalized socially acceptable bullying. Early in my career one of my closest friends was the workplace narcissist, everyone universally agreed. Too confident. Too sure of self. Arrogant. He was isolated and avoided.
I decided to confront him. He wasn't a narcissist at all! Insensitive perhaps, thick skinned, and inexperienced, but a great and very loyal human being. He had realised how his colleagues were treating him and simply stopped caring about them and it didn't injure him to be disliked.
Intentions matter a great deal in human interactions and in this age of constant entertainment I'd suggest most people are a little narcissistic because we can all afford to be.
Last Edit: Feb 1, 2015 11:48:18 GMT -6 by hitchensreborn
Hmmm, I scored a 19 and considering that I've had my head thoroughly examined and a BPD diagnosis was never part of the plethora, I'm in the clear. :) I find the shorter the psych quiz is though, the less accurate it is and more likely to hit on symptoms that overlap with other potential issues. My actual diagnosis was on the dissociative spectrum with possible DID.
I score 59 on it which basically means, put me under just the right type of stresses and I'll either pass out or run for the hills and not have any recollection of the venture I went on to find a safe place to hide when I come back a few hours later. :)
My mother is very likely a Narcissist. Living with her was one hell of a thing. I've watched her adopt things that I've done in my life as her own. One of the reasons why, at least I think, she disliked me so much as a child was because her father showed me favoritism. That was pretty much confirmed after his death as she wouldn't allow me to go to his funeral despite my sister and my pleas and arguments. She's volatile as hell, especially if you chip even slightly at her well honed facade of perfection. Walking on eggshells around her is a very serious business. When we initiated the "love her from afar" thing, she was so volatile, explosive and erratic in response that she entered our home and forced my son and I to barricade ourselves in my room while she went from cooing to growl screaming and launching her entire weight against the door in an effort to break it down. I dissociated during that but my son's fear and plea to call the police snapped me out of it. She respects our rules to this day because of that. She knows her goose was cooked that day and all of her attempts thereafter have all failed miserably.
The reason why doing this is so important with a Narcissist is pretty straightforward. If you are always within their realm and follow their games, they will not necessarily feel the need to impress you all the time. If you're on the outside looking in, that makes their position with you uncertain. It sounds cruel but it forces them to treat you better in the never ending hope that you will become one of their followers again, which should never ever happen. Ever.
Anyways, that's probably why I'm dissociative. It's because my mother is and always has been a violent Narcissist. She's beautiful, charming, intensely manipulative, and scary as bloody hell.
There are 7 billion other people on this planet. It's not hard to find people you can get along with ... who can also get along with you.
Here's something funny. I work in health care. Guess which groups are always ostracized from traditional medicine? That's right, the behavioral health crews. My interactions with them are as limited as I can arrange. If you ask me, they're almost all short a few screws and assorted parts up there.
I'm about to have unavoidable major contact with the Alcohol and Substance Abuse peoples. IMO they are the absolute worst ... for a combination of reasons I won't delve too deeply into. Mostly (I think) because they have such a terrible initial success rate ... not to mention the recidivism their clients are known for.