Starting A New Life

Hang in there Kdog. Things may look gray where your kids are concerned right now, but like Sheeepslayer said, they will learn the truth when they get older.
I've seen this happen time and time again.

Grab on to the happiness you have now, and wallow in it up to your eyeballs.

A person can't go through life being unhappy; it is a slow and painful death.

kdog,

Hey kdog, so sorry to hear about the hell your ex has put you through

Women can be bitches and I don't like the way they'll lie and turn the kids on the fathers
That is just wrong!!!
What goes on between husband and [ex]wife should not involve the kids....kids should not be used as pawns as a means of vendetta 

Hopefully your new life will make up for all that you have gone through and one day, you will be with your kids once again

Wish you the best and hang in there!!


Peace~
Senona
 

This is a freaking AWESOME idea!!! I will stop off on my way home from work tomorrow for a couple of packs of index cards. Those kids will know one day how much their Dad truly does love them!!!

kdog,@airen,littled16,




What a wonderful suggestion AiRen!!!

It made me think of what if kdog sends them a birthday card or Christmas card and Mom never gives it to them [remember, the woman scorned motto] claiming Dad forgot it or some such BS along with a line if "See, I told you your father doesn't care about us"...blah, blah, blah crapola


AiRens idea is perfect to counter this problem IF it happens and then one day when the time is right, give  your kids all your notes/messages.......priceless!


Glad littled has been there for you to help you through the dark times

 

littled16,



It's such a shame that people [women] have to use their kids the way they do in divorces, just to get back at their [ex]husband

I know of 2 couples where the Dad's are way better parents than the Moms are

And why the courts always seem to favor the Mother over the Father when it comes to the well being of the kids, I just don't know other than the obvious of that's the way it has always been

kdog et al


I think one of the tricky things with such a project is . . . the long term.

Few of us stay motivated without sufficient feedback from the target of our communication.

Yet, in such situations, that's exactly what's NOT going to be there week after week; month after month; year after year.

That can be REAL CHALLENGING to keep up the motivation to write out a cheery loving card week after week.

I can only encourage you to not let your motivation flag. REMIND YOURSELF of all your best thoughts and interests in that part of you represented by that child.

THINK about where they are in their particular age range at school and socially. Comment on your thoughts about them growing into that stage and those challenges that go with each school grade and age range.

THINK and talk about the sorts of activities you'd have enjoyed sharing with them at each age range and stage of development.

Share your own life experiences periodically Good and bad . . . as they'd be aware of if they'd lived with you.

Just end up persistently on an upbeat and loving note because you are thinking about those cherished parts of you represented IN EACH CHILD.

You could also use fantasy to illustrate your caring and some fun . . . you could talk about an imaginary vacation . . . day 1, day 2, etc. for 2 weeks or 3 weeks or a month--depending on your creativity.

You could talk about the toys and tech and clothes etc. that you'd have enjoyed buying for them--particularly girls for the clothes.

You could talk about the lessons of life you've learned the hard way and how you might illustrate those or have enjoyed sharing or teaching those to your kids so they could avoid the school of hard knocks ways of learning such lessons.

You could talk about some of your favorite music that reminds you of each child.

You could talk about major news stories and what your thoughts are of each child in reflecting on or hearing about that news story.

Be descriptive in specific tangible terms--of the context, the setting and of your thoughts AND YOUR FEELINGS involved in what you're describing on each card. That helps ground the information in reality in a ways that's easy for the child to identify with and take into their mind and understanding as A REALLY TRUE THING FOR YOU.

That intensifies the caring that they'll feel from you when reading it.


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