WC-1 An American A$$hole in King Artur's Court

"S#$%," The man with a mask and modified chainmail and Legion Armor speaks. "I am going to shoot Nugget.. Have another drink she said.. Free Alcohol Senona said.. Bon said Tennessee coffee wont get you drunk. Hernando's celebrates New Years eve in style Bassago said."

Three Large Saxons surround him.. As the wind blows through the english trees the Armored man looks at the attackers.

"Stranger this is not your fight," The larger Saxon speaks from about twenty three feet away..

"I dont understand you over feed hoss mofo. It is now however," The smaller man shoved the woman with torn clothes behind him three feet. "Dirk said have another one.. Whats the worse that could happen Guohua said" The armored man draws a cross bow and shoots the big fella, "No, Reiki and alcohol have no side effects together Teye laughed. Whitealice's boyfriend helped me to the couch and said you will be ok in the morning. Sleep it off Charles said!!"

The armored man charged the Saxons and running side kicked the next one on the knee. The Saxons knee cracked as the armored man caught the sword hand by wrapping his arm around the Saxon's sword arm.

"I wake up in these d#$% woods. Three months ago. Happy New years Red." The armored man barely gets out of the way as the other Saxon's sword hits the man with the broken knee, "All righty big boy.. Just me and you now."

The last large Saxon draws his sword from his dead comrade, "You die stranger. The queen is mine."

"Yeah.. I do not understand," The Armored man saw the Saxon turn at the sound of horse. He jumps and stabs the Saxon in the back with a Dagger.

The long blonde haired Saxon threw the armored man onto a tree knocking him out. The huge Saxon falls to his knees as the horsemen arrive, falling face first into the mud dead.

An armored knight hops off his horse, "My queen.. Gwenevere.."

"Help that stranger," Gwenevere is shaking as her long black hair blows in the wind. "Lancelot, He killed the Saxons by himself. We cant leave him here."

Lancelot see's the knife blade in Saxon's back, "It doesnt seem very honorable. I like him.. Our Arrival distracted the Saxon and our friend stabbed him in the back."

One of the other knights spoke, "He broke this ones knee. And the other Saxon Killed his own person.. We need to take him back to the castle. Artur will want to talk with him."

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Camelot Castle
the next day

"Brother," A long haired woman responded. " Artur, He speaks no language we do. He sits in that large tub lounging around. He has several wounds I tried to doctor but he refused. He has been in several Battles from the scars on his body. He had some weird fabric under his Armor."

"Morgiane.. You are unable to understand what he said," Artur looks at the man with the shaved head as steam rises. "Myr'Lynn is on his way. The strangers armor?"

"It is a weird mix of roman and I think Pelt design," Lancelot responded as he saw the man lazily relaxing.

The king walks over to the Tub, "You saved my queen stranger. I owe you a debt I can not repay. I am King Artur and your safe in Camelot."

The man in tub went wide eyed, "Did you just say Arthur.. As in King Arthur."

The King looks at the man and smiles. He corrects the pronunciation of his name, "I am Artur. King of England.."

Cussing for a few seconds, the man in the tub points to the knight, "Lancelot.." He points at Morgaine, "Morgan Le Fay.."

Lancelot corrects his name, "Lancelot.."

Morgaine looks at the man surprised, "I am Morgaine of the Fayes."

Standing up nude making Morgaine look away, the man with a shaved bald head gets out of the tub. He shivers as the cold air hits his body as he walks over to a circular shield. Sitting it on the ground, he takes a mug and sits it on the shield. "Your telling me that Your king Arthur. These are the Knights of the round table and I saved Queen Gwenevere?"

King Arthur looked at the stranger, "I think this stranger has heard of us. Yes Gwenevere is the Lady you saved. She is my queen."

The nude bald man picks up the mugs and throws it out the window, "No.. Its not carrotshine.. Just carrot juice." Red turns around and takes a deep breath. After counting to ten and taking a deep breath, "Your Majesty.. My humble Apologies."

King Artur sees the nude man bald bow Japanese style, "You have a temper I see. You have heard of my kingdom and the round table?" the King laughs and points at the bald man, "Who are you?" He points to him self, "Artur.."

Taking a deep breath, "Murphy." The Bald man takes Artur's arm and shakes it, "Of 'Merica.." Seeing the look on the Kings face, "Artur.. Of Camelot.. Murphy of 'Merica."

"Murphy," Artur nods his head. "You hail from 'Merica?"

An old man walks in with a hooded robe, "Your majesty.."

"Merlin right," Murphy responded at the old man.

"Myr'Lynn," Morgaine bites her lip as she looks at Murphy.

Myr'Lynn eyes Murphy, "This stranger.. The reason I was summoned Artur.."

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Round Table
A month Later

"He sits at your table, eats our food, drinks our alcohol, goes on no quest, fights in no tournaments," Sir Kay complains to the king. "Several of us have challenged him and every time he has.."

A dagger flies and stabs into a wooden pillar by Kay who freezes.. The only sound is from the stopping of all motion

"I may be slow," Murphy slowly speaks. "I am not stupid. I do not fight you because I have no wish to kill so honorable a knight even in jest."

Several of the other Knights are standing as Artur motions for them to stop, "Sir Murphy. You are learning our Tongue?"

"Slower please. I can barely understand you," Murphy drags out his words.

"You re a cowardly," Kay glares with anger at Murphy.

"Kay.. I do NOT want to kill you because the King needs your sword. Do NOT insult me again Or I will deal with you very quietly when no one else is around." Murphy slowly speaks as the of the knights are all paused, "I am breaking the rules but I am sick of you all threatening me."

"You do not even carry a sword," Gawain looks at weirdly Armored Murphy.

"The round table is not the place for these disagreements," King Artur looks at Murphy. "We have other Problems."

"The Saxons have made a landing and have moved on an ally to the west," Murphy Speaks coldly. "You intend to go out into battle and face them. Well the plan is stupid."

Everyone looks at Murphy for challenging the plan of the King.

"See.. He wishes to run," Sir Kay calls out.

"No.. I will help you your Majesty," Murphy responds looking at Kay. "It will be on my terms not yours or theirs. All I require is about thirty Archers, that is all. "

The other knights all laugh at Murphy.

King Artur laughs, "Thirty men with no Armor to take on the Saxons. You will fight with us if I give you Thirty Archers." Myr'Lynn looks at Artur. Arutr responds coldly, "I will give you fifty.. And The dead Mordred's castle and lands if you can win with just Archers. Hell, I will make you knight of the round table."

Murphy looks at Kay, "I am sorry for Mordred's passing My King. To die in a hunting accident so young two weeks ago. I accept your offer Your majesty."

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A month later
Battle of the lowlands
Sun is just setting

On horse back King Artur's forces are in full retreat, "The Bastard took the Archers and no one has heard from him in two weeks."

A wounded Sir Kay Stops the Horses when he see's Murphy, "You traitor.."

The Saxon forces are chasing Artur's forces and can be heard charging forward.

Murphy yawns and takes a drink from a mug and waits for the Knights to get a little closer. He takes out a horn and blows on it and points to behind the knights.

King Artur hears the rustling of hidden men and freezes thinking he is dead. Arrows fly past him into the pursuing Saxons. Realizing he is not dead he turns seeing hundreds of arrows in the air as they land on the massed Saxons..

Lancelot dismounts off his wounded horse walking towards Murphy, "Sir Kay.. I think we owe Murphy an Apology."

Murphy looks at King Artur, "You will need to dismount some of the knights and have them out among the Archers in case any of the Saxons survive your majesty. You have to get to the shoreline and take the boats before the Saxons escape."

King Artur takes a deep breath as he watches the slaughter. He notices the archers are firing in sets, "They had us on the run. And now," Artur watches as more and more volleys fill the air. "They are being Slaughtered."

The knights of the round table see Murphy blow the horn quickly twice. To their amazement torches are brought up with large pots to several of the Archers. With Precision those the pot bares dip arrows and hand them to the Archers. The person with the Torches light the Arrows for the Archers who join the firing..

"You Majesty," Murphy takes a drink. "With the lighted arrows you can follow the enemy in the dark." Murphy goes to one knee, "I believe you gave your word your Majesty."

King Artur dismounts from his horse and draws his sword. As the sun sets Artur Knights the half drunk Murphy, "Rise Sir Murphy of 'Merica. Knight of the Round Table."

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Two Weeks later
Renamed Castle Texas

"This is," Morgaine is amazed at the cleanliness of the castle. Morgaine whispers to the two knights with her, "I will go into Sir Murphy's bed chamber. He is in their with the Queen. You will come in when I give the signal and then we drag him out to my brother with that christian whore."

Morgaine drops the robe she is wearing as the two knights assume a position on both sides of the door.

"Sir Murphy.. We could have done so much together," Morgaine opens the door and is greeted by the smell of musk. She sees the queen laying nude in the Chamber, "Sir Murphy."

A blade is at her throat as she shut the door, " Morgaine. Welcome to my castle. "

"It is treason for the queen to be in your bed," Morgaine slowly moves the blade away.

"No what your son was doing was treason to the crown. Cutting a deal with the Saxons,"Murphy goes to a table in his well lit chamber. "So what brings your here?"

"I have won Murphy.. You will not stand in my way. " Morgaine pauses as she looks at the Queen, "I had arranged for the Queen to be in Lancelot's chambers. Your will do for her betrayal of my half brother." She pauses and sees a dagger on the wall, "You killed my son. That is his dagger."

"He had an accident Morgaine," Murphy smiles. "After all he was hunting and not cutting a deal you sent him to make."

"So you have bedded the queen. My brother will kill you especially after I tell them you tried to force yourself on me, " Morgaine laughs evilly.

"Can we at least have sex first so you are fresh for the examination," Sir Murphy looks at Morgaine. "I assume you wish to have another child. Your not taking the same thing you fed the queen. Those herbs so she didnt get pregnant or caused her to miscarry."

Morgaine walks over and slaps Sir Murphy, "A child with you. You are a simpleton male like my brother. The Queen will never have children with my brother. Not when I give her the next few doses." Morgaine sees the Queen sit up, "Look who I found. The Queen in the bed of a knight of the round table."

"Artur.. I am going to kill your sister," Queen Gwenevere calls out. "Sir Murphy was correct as to the source of my inability to produce an heir."

Morgaine Calls out the Signal for the two knight. After a few seconds she calls them again very worried, "This is still treason.. The Queen is in your.."

Artur steps out from behind a curtain, "My own sister. High treason indeed."

"Brother.. I," Morgaine falls to the floor and weeps.

As the Queen covers up, Sir murphy opens the door. "The King thanks you for your loyalty Sir Kay. This is a family matter and the king will need you."

Sir Kay puts his hand on Sir Murphy's shoulder, "I misjudged you. "

"Sir Kay," Murphy hits Kays armored shoulder. "Ouch.. Do not go getting soft on me now."

Kay laughs as other Knights are dragging away the two knight of Morgaine.

"Sir kay.. Lancelot has been cleared by my sister," King Artur picks his half sister up by the hair. "I should kill you."

"Your majesty.. Perhaps I can arrange a solution," Murphy calls from outside his own bedchamber. "I will keep her here confined to the castle. I will post guards for her and see if there is any hope for her."

Two peasants armed with crossbows and short swords walk up to the door and assume positions.

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Two weeks later
Grounds of Castle Texas

Myr'Lynn walks down the isles of the Greenhouse, "Gwenevere has morning sickness Sir Murphy. How did you know Morgaine was poisoning her?" Merlin stops and takes one of the small fruits, "I see your crops are coming in faster then others in the area. It is warm in here compared to outside."

Myr'Lynn see's the clean and well dressed peasants at work. He notices the efficiency with which they move and watches.

One of the females stops and bows her head, "Myr'Lynn.. Sage of Briton.." She looks at Murphy, "Boss.. Are you and the Great Sage Dining out here or in the Kitchen."

"Little Lady," Murphy Pauses. "Sage where do you wish to dine. Or shall I have sandwiches brought to us."

"Sandwiches," Myr'Lynn is confused.

"Thats right.. Bring Myr'Lynn one ham sandwich with the goat cheese and dip," Sir Murphy is faking his smiles. "Bring him some of the Filtered water.. Bring me the same thing."

Mry'Lynn freezes when they walk around a corner, "This .. This is.."

"I put the Bishop in the stockade because I had no choice," Murphy looks at the two Celtic guards. "It is why I wish to talk with you Sage. They tried to poison my water. "

"Your not a christian," Mry'Lynn stops walking surprised.

"I follow the way of the Crone," Murphy see's a look in the eye of the Sage. "Listen I know half of what you do is a lie. The other half is just a better understanding of the miracles of nature. I need your help Myr'Lynn. I expect us to get a visit from the Church or the Romans or whoever the hell is in charge. "

Myr'Lynn pauses as he looks at the Bishop in the stockade, "You intend to execute him with the Chruch's emissary present. Artur knows nothing of this."

Murphy looks at him, "In 'Merica the land I am from.. Our founding fathers had a dream. It got perverted but was simple to the core. The Separation of church and state.. We need the Pagans here to have three things. And each one is a danger but we must have each of them. First we must have book for our people. Two we must unite the Pagans as a team.. And third.. No missionaries from the church."

"This .. This will cause issues," Myr'Lynn looked at Murphy and then back to the bishop. "A separation of church and state. "

"Like the round table where all men are equal,"Murphy looked at Myr'Lynn. "It will also prevent the Romans and the church from reasserting authority easily."

The Red headed woman brings the sandwiches to the two men as the round a corner with a table on it, "Sir Murphy." She looks down, "the kitchen is out of dip.. The .. The servants had it with their lunch." Looking down the woman was very scared..

"Bastards," Murphy shook his head. "Mry'Lynn.. See what I put up with." Murphy lifts the red headed females face up, "My fellow ginger. I cant blame them.. Its damn good. I am too lazy for my own damn good. I will bring Mry'Lynn with me and we will just have to whip up another batch."

The red headed woman breaths a sigh of relief, "Your not mad Sir Murphy?"

"Goddess no. First time is it is my fault," Murphy shakes his head.

Myr'Lynn he notices children running around in clean clothes and an older matronly woman talking with her friend. He notices all the people here are wearing clean simple cloth. The area is well maintained .. It takes Mry'Lynn till now to realize he smells no feces. He closes his eyes and feels the spirit of the land and has a vision.

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Evening time
Castle Texas

"You are a monster," Morgaine throws the bowl across the room. She falls to her knees on the floor, "Sir Murphy.. I have the Sight and know where you come from. The Isles had no right to bring you here."

"Morgaine," Sir Murphy pauses as he see a mess in front of him. "You need a bath. Listen.. You have some form of psi ability. I know you will eventually overcome my resistance. I want you to consider something. The church will destroy all you hold dear and I know I will need you as an ally for this fight." Sir Murphy reaches down and touches the side of her face..

"Then why have you kept me locked up here for two weeks.. I," Morgaine pauses when Sir Murphy kisses her forehead. She see's something and screams, "NO!!!!"

"Basic Psychology.. Beats Magic and Psi everytime," Sir Murphy smiles. He lifts up Morgaine who slaps him, "Fair enough.."

Morgaine Breaks down into tears, "This will not happen Sir Murphy.." She turns and yells at the sky, "I will not accept those terms.. "

Murphy snorts as he removes her dress, "Lets get you cleaned up my Lady. The problem is not the gods or Goddesses. Nor is it the Isles or anyone elses fault Morgaine."

Morgiane looks away as a chamber maid brings towels, "Sir Murphy.. I am here to bathe Lady Morgaine."

Morgaine slaps Murphy, "Their will be no us.. I do not care what the Veil speaks.."

"We dine together in an hour thatcher," Murphy smiled as he looked at the chamber maid.

"I will have her ready boss," Thatcher bows Japanese style to Sir Murphy. "My Lady.. His lordship has selected a dress for you. It is simple."

Myr'Lynn stands at the door, "She is evil Sir Murphy.. Redemption will be a feat only the bravest soul can attempt. Odds are she will betray us."

Morgaine refuses to look at Myr'Lynn as thatcher leads her out of the room.

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Scottish Highlands
Middle of the Battle

"Artur," Sir Murphy dove next to the King in the ice. "I heard you requested assistance?"

"A week Ago," Artur responds. "We are surrounded by.."

One of the Saxon Warriors goes to smash an Axe on the king. Twelve Arrows hit the Axe man at the same time..

"Is now a bad time to mention I brought my boys," Murphy peaks over the logs and sees the Saxon's falling down.

"They have archers Sir Murphy," King Artur joins Sir Murphy looking over the logs.

They see Sir Lancelot fall from blows. Before the the Saxon can deliver a killing blow King Artur sees Sir Murphy throw a small axe. As it hits it target three Arrows hit the large Saxon.

Sir Murphy sits back down and sees the kings wound. "D@#$ it Artur.." Sir Murphy sees the King not responding, "S#$%.. " Murphy blows a horn in four short burst.

A man runs from the woods with a pouch..

"I think the King is bleeding out.. Stop the bleeding and sew if you have too," Murphy takes the Kings sword. "They have wounded the King.." Murphy Raises the Kings sword, "No Mercy."

Twelve men with multiple crossbows and short swords come charging into the Saxons. The still standing Knights see the sword and the charging men and push forward.

The Saxons attempt a counter charge but to their surprise the Newly arrived men seems to be quick killing them.

____________________________________________

Hours after the battle
Make shift tent

Lancelot stand over Artur as he wakes up, "Artur.."

Weakly, "Did we.. Did we repulse the Saxons?"

Sir Galahad is sitting bandaged by on of weirdly dressed people, "Sir Murphy Your Majesty. " Sir Galahad had a sick look on his face, "You were out cold. They slaughtered the Saxons. All twelve we could see. The whole Battle his Archers continually fired without hitting our people."

"They scared the Saxons your Majesty," Kay walked in carrying a wounded Sir Murphy. "He was knocked out cold. He never let go of your sword. If you can walk Artur. Sir Murphy's men are.." Kays face was green.

Several of the people in the Tent rushed to help Sir Kay with Sir Murphy..

Artur Walked outside as Murphy's men shot tied up men in the Back of the head with crossbows.

A man in light chainmail ordered the group of bodies dragged out of the way to a pile of bodies. "Looking at the other Prisoners. See what their fate is. I am giving you.."

One of the bound Saxons spits on the man, "We will never talk. We will crush.."

Before Artur can respond a small metal rod jabs into the Saxons collar bone. He falls back as the man is on top of him. The Saxon screams loudly in pain, "This is my job. Now you are my new toy. I want every single one.."

"Halt," King Artur calls out. He walks over, "Who are you sir.."

"Sir Murphy's Sargent arms your majesty. John Smith," The man stood up and bowed japanese style. "Unless your countering my orders this man or one of them will talk..."

"I am countering those orders," King Artur was upset. "These men have surrendered. We can not just.."

Smith tossed one of the men forward, "Thirteen villages your Majesty. Rape pillaged and plunder.. Children.." Smith kicks another one forward, "Bandit... Over thirty kills of your majesty's subject.." Smith kicks another man forward, "Former Legionnaire.. Deserter and now mercenary who has particpated in three viliages being pillaged. We got the information out of several we have questioned."

King Artur closes his eyes, "We cant act this way.."

"As you wish your majesty," Smith snapped his fingers. "We will no longer torture them for information. We will go to other protocols."

King Artur looks at Smith as several men step forward and pick the Saxons out of the mud, "Protocols.

"Your majesty," Smith stares forward at attention. "May we question them still. We promise not to cause any physcial damage to them."

"You cant make a man talk," Artur sees jugs of alcohol and laughs.. "You think that if they get drunk they will talk?"

"We were not sure what your majesty would order. So we are prepared.." Smith smiles as a man steps forward with a bound book. "This your majesty is a record of what was asked and what was said in response. We are new to this so we made a few mistakes. Please Tell Sir Murphy we did a good job."

King Artur looks back to the Tent, "I will send Kay with you Smith. I want him to observe and ensure you will not hit these men. You may question them with Alcohol all you please.. Camelot has to stand for the higher ideals in this world. "

______________________________________________________________________


Castle Texas
Two months later

Several of The Saxon Leaders were very nervous as the sat in the dining room at the half circle table. Sir Murphy sat drinking water from a crystal cup as he stared at them.

The door to the room opened as Artur walked in with the Knights of the Round Table. He saw the very nervous Saxon Leaders look away..

"Sir Murphy.. I am your king.. I am not to be summoned like a ," King Artur freezes when the Saxon's in the room all fall to one knee and bow there head to Artur.

A thin man dressed in cloth smiles as the biggest Saxon in the room speaks from the ground, "Your Majesty.. These various Saxon leaders.." The Translator grins, "They swear Fealty to the rightful King of all Britiania. They surrender their kingdoms and beg for his majesty to intercede with his knight Sir Murphy. They wish for the return of their wives and children."

"Intercede," King Artur looks at Sir Murphy.

"Someone got sick of them raiding his crap your majesty. Seems someone has grabbed all of their women folk and children," Sir Murphy grins as he drinks his filtered water

"You.. You attacked the Saxon's homes and kidnapped their people," Sir Lancelot was shocked.

Sir Murphy snaps his fingers and his guards open the door. Several woman are lead into the room. The Saxon's in the room are all shaking.

The translator listens, "They beg you King. To have your knight who acted alone, release their families. They recognize your greatness if this was just one of your knights, but all thirteen of them would be impossible to beat. The Saxons again surrender and wish to join Britiania on her rise."

Galahad laughs as he looks at Sir Murphy, "I think I like him Artur. Tell the Saxon Leader I am up next if they refuse to meet the kings Terms."

One by one the Knights of the round table reinforce the sentiment.

King Artur holds his hand up to stop them. He walks over to the Saxon Leader and stands him up, "We will talk. Not as king to servant. As friends. It is all I wanted." Artur narrows his eyes at Sir Murphy, "I can not accept a brothers surrender. We have mutual enemies we must face together. I apologize for my over active Knight.. He is new to the concepts of being a knight.." Artur looks at Sir Murphy, "Release their families to them immediately."

The Translator translates to the Saxon as the other Knights of the round table lift the Saxon leaders off their knees.

Sir Murphy bows his head, "Your Majesty. The Saxons will tell you that their families have not been harmed and in fact a few of them I had to have treated for several Diseases. I just did not allow them to leave Castle Texas Grounds."

"The table is set Sir Murphy," Morgaine walks in and sees the Knights of the round table and freezes. She bows her head, "King Artur.. Brother." Morgaine goes to one knee with tears in her eyes. Looking down, "I am so sorry brother. I know you will never forgive me. I forgive you."

The Knights are all wide eyed till Myr'Lynn stabs his Staff on the floor. The metal on the end makes a loud noise, "Morgaine return to the table with the ladys of our guest and sit them. Then.." Myr'Lynn sighs, "Take your seat next to Sir Murphy. I will talk with his majesty, Your brother."

"As you wish Sage," Morgaine rose with her eyes closed and left the room.

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