I am a government employee and one f my many functions as a security official is to reclaim Id cards and Building access cards when an employee leaves the department for whatever reason.
Today a man came to my office informing me that it was his last day and that he was retiring. He was coming to hand in his ID cards as part of the "out routine".
I asked if he had big plans for his retirement! He replied:
"Sure, I start my new job on Monday morning as a Proctologist!"
I looked up at him, and asked "really?"
He then said "Yeah! They offered me the job immediately when I told them I had 52 years of experience working with assholes!"
I laughed so hard I think they heard me across the street!