P.S I notice this is probably meant for the Humor, Jokes, Laughs forum rather than FoN, so I'm scooting it over there. PM me if you disagree with that assumption
Queen of English Language Mangling, Master of the Edit button
For #14, I would add Legos to that, too. Barefoot, in the dark, in the middle of the night. I have never needed to scream swear words at the top of my lungs worse, but been unable to so that I didn't wake up the family.