1. So as not to aim too high, my goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. So far, only 15 to go.
2. Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
3. How to prepare Tofu: a) Throw it in the trash. b) Grill some Meat.
4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
5. I don't mean to brag but......I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
6. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
10. I may not be that funny, or athletic, or good looking, or smart, or talented....I forgot where I was going with this.
11. Being over 75 is GREAT! You learn something new every day.......and forget 5 others.
12. A thief broke into my house last night......He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
13. My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like: I KNOW!, Right?
14. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
PS: Daylight Savings Time began on March 13, 2016. Hope you remembered to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.
LOL! I love these. The spider web one is true for me. I can get a weeks worth of exercise in just by running into a cobweb in the back yard. Or my hair. It is long and I will sometimes move my head just right so that a piece of hair falls onto and brushes my arm. It feels just like a spider. I move like a freaking ninja then.