Post by 727sky on Mar 26, 2016 17:21:59 GMT -6
During the presidential campaign various candidates addressed major gatherings of the American Indian Nation.
They each spoke for almost an hour about their plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living.
Though vague in detail, they all spoke about their ideas for helping their "red sisters and brothers."
Afterwards, each présentation the Tribes presented them with a plaque inscribed with their new Indian name, "Walking Eagle", which they proudly accepted.
After the final candidate left, a news reporter asked the chiefs how they came to select the same name for each of them.
The Chiefs explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of s**t that it can no longer fly.
Recently a Taliban leader was captured in Afghanistan and taken to a warehouse where he was given dice.
The Sergeant says, "Roll the dice and if you get a 1 2 3 4 or 5 your head comes off"
The Taliban leader asked, "What if I throw a 6?"
The Sergeant replied, "You get to throw again"
The Mexican maid asks for a pay raise...
The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.
Wife: "And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora...the gardener did."
Wife: "So, how much do you think would be fair?"
They each spoke for almost an hour about their plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living.
Though vague in detail, they all spoke about their ideas for helping their "red sisters and brothers."
Afterwards, each présentation the Tribes presented them with a plaque inscribed with their new Indian name, "Walking Eagle", which they proudly accepted.
After the final candidate left, a news reporter asked the chiefs how they came to select the same name for each of them.
The Chiefs explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of s**t that it can no longer fly.
Recently a Taliban leader was captured in Afghanistan and taken to a warehouse where he was given dice.
The Sergeant says, "Roll the dice and if you get a 1 2 3 4 or 5 your head comes off"
The Taliban leader asked, "What if I throw a 6?"
The Sergeant replied, "You get to throw again"
The Mexican maid asks for a pay raise...
The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.
Wife: "And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora...the gardener did."
Wife: "So, how much do you think would be fair?"