I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
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My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
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Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses on to see where to look!
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The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
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God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
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I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
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A woman asks a man who is travelling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?"
The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints."
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Nominated as the best short joke this year:
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"
Nugget, I agree! Sky, I have no idea where you find these jokes, but I love them. You've posted some wonderful ones that not only give me a smile, but actually literally make me laugh out loud. These were no exception.