The Black Cat analogy

I've just seen in Another Place a picture putting forward the following analogies;

Philosophy is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat.

Metaphysics is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat that isn't there.

Theology is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat that isn't there and shouting "I found it".

Science is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat using a flashlight.

I beg to differ from one of those claims.

Theology is really like being in a dark room with someone who has just been licked by a black cat.

You will never find a black cat in a dark room (even with a flashlight).

You have to wait for the cat to find you.