This is My #$%^&* Smoking Post.

Mods can go ahead and delete this if need be.

It's not news, current, historic, mysterious, political, religious, conspiratorial, scientific, earth shattering in any way, shape or form.

I REALLY want a cigarette right now and after 2 + weeks it's pissing me off. I thought it would get easier this far in but that is pure BS. There are minutes when I forget, but in those the other moments when the craving comes roaring back in, I feel as tho I'm losing control. Damn cigarettes.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to smoke nor am I even asking for support, accolades, stars or flags. Thank you but don't bother. I'm winning with my own formula and that's good enough for me. In fact, let the thread disappear into nothingness.

I'm simply writing this as an exercise to deflect.

It's kind of cathartic actually. I have no idea who, or even if anyone is listening and yet it doesn't matter as long as I believe someone is.

I hate smoking. I have even hated myself for being so weak and not being able/willing? to cut the ties. Some know that my wife and I quit the same minute of the same morning over 2 weeks ago. We are still doing it, never going back.

I posted a thread a few days back showing my rewards:

A visual instead of a concept, or even a wish of what it means to us with the single act of stepping away and gaining personal control once again.

Anyways, this may be rambling but I had to start writing or go looking for a cigarette. I chose to write. I may do it again, I don't know. But if it works into my not-smoking formula and actually works for me, so be it.

I'll post this anywhere I have to until the craving is gone.

Ok, it's gone.

... Carry on.

Jude