Post by 727sky on May 8, 2015 7:20:50 GMT -6
As
you know, my dear people, the last year for me has been an annus
horribilus.
The
Royal House of Clinton has been tormented by questions about our handling of
finances and subjected to tiresome questions about the tragic events in
Benghazi–in the furthest regions of our empire. And, sadly, also questions
about my Royal e-mails.
Nevertheless,
I will not be daunted in my desire and commitment to serve you the people.
For the next seventeen months I will be traveling among you as one of you,
to listen to your deepest longings and needs. I will be with you in your
Wal-Mart and beside you in your Burger Kings. I will drive with you down the
busy interstate highways of our land sharing your poverty and needs with
you.
How
well I remember the days when the Duke of Arkansas and I were impoverished.
After we were expelled from our Washington Palace we hardly had two mansions
to rub together. We were so poor we had to remove thousands of dollars of
china, flatware, carpets and gifts from the Washington Palace just to
survive. Now, happily, benefactors from around our empire have given just
enough for us to scrape by.
During
those difficult times we had to cut back when our daughter was married. We
only had three million dollars to spend on her wedding and I remember our
hopes as she moved into her $10 million Manhattan apartment that one day she
would be able to move on from that humble abode to something more fitting.
So as I travel across our land to meet you all, I will be listening and
sharing with you. Then when the time for the royal election comes I know you
will crown me as your rightful monarch so that we can all live happily ever
after.
Sitting on a Throne and saying: 
The whole time she's thinking: 