Post by littled16 on Dec 16, 2014 9:39:31 GMT -6
Hello all! Sorry I never got around to making an introduction thread but by the time I get off work I'm just too danged tired to do much more than read or make the occasional short but sweet comment. Instead of what you might expect from a usual introduction thread I have decided to write the condensed version of the most recent chapter in my real life story. I hope this gives you a better understanding of who I am and if not I hope at least it entertains you. Enjoy! :)
I am tired but I am happy.
Nearly six months ago I packed my car, waved goodbye and walked away from a life I was no longer happy with. Yes, there are parts of that life that I miss: I miss being able to see various members of my family and particular friends whenever I want. I miss having a huge yard to take care of and plant whatever I want in. I miss my precious dog. But there are things that I don’t miss as well: Walking on eggshells all the time, being ignored or told I am crazy when I want to discuss things that interest me, being made to feel insignificant, being attacked any time I questioned the wrongdoings of others and ultimately being blamed for their wrongs.
I stayed too long. I knew I should have left years ago but every time I decided I had had enough something would happen and my sense of honor and duty would demand that I stay. Even toward the end I couldn’t walk away without making sure I had fulfilled all of the responsibilities and promises I made even though staying to complete them caused me even more misery and unnecessary torment. It’s just who I am. I was brought up truly believing that you are only as good as your word and without it you are nothing. I AM a woman of my word.
It was the power of true love that gave me the strength to finally walk away and even then it was something that I struggled with. I had always put the feelings and well-being of others before my own happiness. So many people were hurt and angered. My children though grown did not at first understand; I had always put on a happy face for their benefit and they did not know how unhappy I truly was. Eventually they came to understand and after a short period of awkward frustration and confusion even though there is a great physical distance between us we are as close as ever and they are happy for me- our love for each other is strong! Even my ex has finally accepted my decision and after a long period of hurt and anger has finally moved on with his life; he wishes me nothing but happiness and I wish him the same. We keep an amicable relationship not only for the sake of our family but for ourselves as well.
My love is still struggling with his past and it makes me feel sad and helpless. His ex also felt the initial feelings of hurt, anger and confusion but rather than moving on and allowing time to heal the wounds she has let hatred, rage and a desire for vengeance consume her to the point of madness. She has caused so much sadness and pain, beyond anything I had ever imagined one person being capable of and shows no signs of letting up. Lying, manipulation and outright criminal acts are just the tip of the iceberg in her repertoire of revenge all the while showing an innocent face to the world at large. I can only pray that one day the truth is shown for all to see and my love will find the peace he deserves.
Despite the problems I have no regrets. I made the decision that was right for me. I have found my happiness with my one true love, my soulmate. I never dreamed I could love a man so much or feel as loved as I do. There is a feeling of warmth, calm and unconditional acceptance. We are both free to be who we truly are without judgement or conditions. We bring out the best in each other in every way you can imagine. Together we have found that elusive feeling called HOME. Yes, we work ceaselessly and struggle to make ends meet but in our hearts and souls we have gained riches and wealth that overshadow any treasure hoarded by the kings of the Earth!
I am tired but I am happy.
Nearly six months ago I packed my car, waved goodbye and walked away from a life I was no longer happy with. Yes, there are parts of that life that I miss: I miss being able to see various members of my family and particular friends whenever I want. I miss having a huge yard to take care of and plant whatever I want in. I miss my precious dog. But there are things that I don’t miss as well: Walking on eggshells all the time, being ignored or told I am crazy when I want to discuss things that interest me, being made to feel insignificant, being attacked any time I questioned the wrongdoings of others and ultimately being blamed for their wrongs.
I stayed too long. I knew I should have left years ago but every time I decided I had had enough something would happen and my sense of honor and duty would demand that I stay. Even toward the end I couldn’t walk away without making sure I had fulfilled all of the responsibilities and promises I made even though staying to complete them caused me even more misery and unnecessary torment. It’s just who I am. I was brought up truly believing that you are only as good as your word and without it you are nothing. I AM a woman of my word.
It was the power of true love that gave me the strength to finally walk away and even then it was something that I struggled with. I had always put the feelings and well-being of others before my own happiness. So many people were hurt and angered. My children though grown did not at first understand; I had always put on a happy face for their benefit and they did not know how unhappy I truly was. Eventually they came to understand and after a short period of awkward frustration and confusion even though there is a great physical distance between us we are as close as ever and they are happy for me- our love for each other is strong! Even my ex has finally accepted my decision and after a long period of hurt and anger has finally moved on with his life; he wishes me nothing but happiness and I wish him the same. We keep an amicable relationship not only for the sake of our family but for ourselves as well.
My love is still struggling with his past and it makes me feel sad and helpless. His ex also felt the initial feelings of hurt, anger and confusion but rather than moving on and allowing time to heal the wounds she has let hatred, rage and a desire for vengeance consume her to the point of madness. She has caused so much sadness and pain, beyond anything I had ever imagined one person being capable of and shows no signs of letting up. Lying, manipulation and outright criminal acts are just the tip of the iceberg in her repertoire of revenge all the while showing an innocent face to the world at large. I can only pray that one day the truth is shown for all to see and my love will find the peace he deserves.
Despite the problems I have no regrets. I made the decision that was right for me. I have found my happiness with my one true love, my soulmate. I never dreamed I could love a man so much or feel as loved as I do. There is a feeling of warmth, calm and unconditional acceptance. We are both free to be who we truly are without judgement or conditions. We bring out the best in each other in every way you can imagine. Together we have found that elusive feeling called HOME. Yes, we work ceaselessly and struggle to make ends meet but in our hearts and souls we have gained riches and wealth that overshadow any treasure hoarded by the kings of the Earth!
