I just got rid of my " evil " entity. But, it was a person. My ex wife of 18 years. Things were depressing for years, even tho she was in denial. It was all my fault in her eyes, none of it was hers. But I won't go into that. Shit happens. I have dodged the bullet, so to speak, on many occasions.
And you know what, didn't blame anyone other then myself for making poor choices.
So , I pick myself up and move on. Heck, dude, I am doing it again at 50 years old and I don't have any regrets and happier than I can remember !
Post by dilligafmisfit on May 3, 2015 21:00:10 GMT -6
ive been named dill dilli or mike take your pick im easy like sunday morning. thank you everyone for your kind responses and welcome wishes lets do this lol
Post by dilligafmisfit on May 4, 2015 15:22:18 GMT -6
first off, Mystic Wanderer, did you remember the question you were gonna ask? Second, I wasnt gonna hit up my moms church as i'm kinda lost religious-wise for the time being. My mom was gonna take my sons to church on sunday. I woke up with them and my sisters husband texted me asking if i was coming.
I said screw it. I had just seen my daughter the day before and her maternal grandfather was trying to pull shady stuff and i got screwed outta forty minutes at least of my visitation. They said I was late. but I have bus passes, a transit guide with schedules, digital recordings, texts, e-mails, and time stamped photos showing i wazs at suggested place on time, hell even the security footage will show we got to the transit station an hour early. i was kinda pissed. who wouldnt be right? so I had a few drinks that night as i've been having insomia issues lately and i Have a prescribed med for my sleep. i didnt wanna mix the two.
Anyways I digress, so running of of 2 1/2 hours of sleep I told my brother-in-law screw it ill be there. the kid does right by my sis so yea. I got in trouble with people sitting next to me cause I started meditating in a christian church. they thought I was sleeping. my fam stuck up for me though as they know my personality. Yet the whole time I was meditating I could here the pastor talking about acts: 5 and when he was closing the sermon I snapped out of my trance and even proved it to the angry people by quoting the pastor.
After the sermon, there was a 94 year old woman ( it was her b-day) Isaw the angry people outside and pushed through them and wished the b-day girl a happy one! as well as telling her that she was gorgeous for being 94 years young. kinda set the crowd off but hey.....as Han Solo puts it: "It's Me!". I could care less what people think of me. I only care about what I think of myself. My family knows im on the right path and cheer me on everry day for it. Birthday girl, I made her day. She smiled up at me said c'mere and gave me a big old hug and a kiss on the cheek and thanked me for being a polite young man.
Anyways again I am just saying, the new me is still going strong and my life couldnt be better. my oldest son asked me why I did that and I said "son something told me to. sometimes you just gotta go for it and take life as it comes. plus it's respect." so dilli here with a few words of wisdom. thank you guys, for the warm welcome and Mystic wanderer I am curious as to your question now. inquiring minds want to know! lol
Post by Mystic Wanderer on May 4, 2015 15:30:11 GMT -6
dilligafmisfit, no, sorry, I don't remember. I just got up, and still waiting on coffee to brew, so I can tell you, it won't be any time soon that I remember it. I only got 2 hrs. sleep, so my mind is really frazzled right now. No sleep, no coffee = Brain dead. L_L
Post by dilligafmisfit on May 4, 2015 15:42:03 GMT -6
lol np. i repeat though, inquiring minds want to know he he. coffee sounds pretty good right now might brew a pot myself. Oh and to all May the fourth be with you! Its national Star Wars Day!!!!!!1
Mystic wanderer I am curious as to your question now. inquiring minds want to know! lol
I remember what I wanted to ask.
What type of meditation was this? Did they have any kind of music in the background, or drumbeats? And, do you plan on going back for more sessions? I think the more practice you get, the more your grandfather will come to see you, and eventually you two can have a full conversation with each other.
Post by dilligafmisfit on May 4, 2015 23:31:52 GMT -6
Mystic Wanderer, to be honest.... I cannot remember, all I remember was the sounds of cars driving by, the wind chimes in her shop tingling from the slight draft from the back door, and the breathing of the other four woman in the room with me. the room smelled of un-burnt incense. I believe their was music in the background but i was so focused on my inner being leaving my past self behind, my children chanting and the emotions that were running through my body at the time granddad spoke to me....
Post by dilligafmisfit on May 4, 2015 23:45:53 GMT -6
@ Teye22 when I first started meditating it was 2011 maybe 2012. I kicked another drug habit at the time and I used to sit in my truck for about thirty minutes before I was supposed to start my shift at work. I did this about 8 times. I would sit, turn the radio off, and pull out my beginners guide I had bought. I would breath and chant. I would have moments of extreme clarity and peace yet I never achieved anything as powerful as what i experienced in Mystics post.
As it stands now, I can do it any where and everywhere. at my last job, the day after this experience I took my lunch and sat down in front of my automotive tool box on a bucket and to four breaths in and out. I was completely aware of my surroundings. I could even hear one of my coworkers making jokes and another coworker saying dont judge. Yet I was still able to adjust and climb to else where and contemplate everything. My internal clock was set for fifteen min. thats how long it takes for one of my cigarettes to turn to complete ash. I awoke exactly fifteen minutes later with only one drag left on my cig. I dont know how Ive done it but I have seemed to be able to master parts of my body and chemistry without even trying. I had that one puff felt refreshed and went back to work. hell I could take fifteen min. now drop into it and fall right back out and go on with my day.
I just dont get it but im rolling with it cause its working
Last Edit: May 4, 2015 23:47:04 GMT -6 by dilligafmisfit
Post by dilligafmisfit on May 4, 2015 23:50:48 GMT -6
I kinda have an addictive personality. everyone I know keeps (including my parents, I know they mean well but...) Telling me to go get a med marijuana card and medicate but i feelthat is a big mistake cause i love pot too much and that would just become another problem. I just wanna be a good father and son you know?
