Coward.

I see All And Nothing.

The pungent aroma of the dark green ivy and damp soil brings an image of a long
forgotten cemetery and the silence of the grave. Laying on my back and staring at
the thin branches and writhing vines, I ponder the long sleep that awaits all men.

As another car passes by and the faint murmur of somebody hurrying towards
whatever they deem important, my ears monitor the surrounding world whilst
my mind roams the land of madness.

She'll be leaving in twenty-minutes. The woman that I love and have honoured
from the moment we were married -will be leaving her lover's house and steering
the only vehicle that my meagre salary could supply, towards our own home.
A home that houses deceit.

Here in the undergrowth, I know I am cowering. I know that I should face the man
who is tasting and mocking the love that I thought was mine, but I cower... I hide.

I create scenarios in my head where I step forward and deliver a vengeance that
would make my heart pound and my blood boil. The man would look up from his
kneeling position in his expensive home and he would jibber for forgiveness.
He would mewl his apology for his trespass.
He would be brought low.

A small bird watches from the dark undergrowth and I wonder if the tiny flittering
thing could ever conceive the torment that squirms within me. It's oily-black eye
peers with puzzlement at the prone human that has invaded it's feeding ground
and I decide that such heart-breaking matters are beyond the drab-brown creature.
Lucky thing.

Through the heavy foliage I see the front door open and the woman that my mind
calls 'harlot' from it's hatred-filled skull -steps out with a glow that can only be generated
in the world of carnal. Her long-flowing hair moves in the breeze and her revealed face
offers a knowing smile to the unaware world.
But we know, don't we bird?

The flickering wings and annoyed chirp tells me that the sparrow doesn't have the time
to dwell on such matters and I'm left with alone with my coward's soul and my hesitant
rage.

I could storm the lover's castle and slay the animal that has ruined my life, I could invade
his home with a stealth that would make him gasp and fear. I could rid myself of this
terrible ache in my chest and wash myself clean in the gore I would produce in his
killing... I could.

The cold shadows of the undergrowth want me to tarry a while and within this world
of earthy-smells and wavering leaves, it's tempting to stay... and temptation is the subject
for today.

Amongst the moss and mouse droppings I will devise a plan that will rain down my revenge
on both parties, I will conjure-up a scene where I will stand over the two betrayers and vent
my chagrin in a way that will leave them trembling like grown-up versions of Hansel and
Gretel staring at the witch's oven. And I know that my rage will rival the heat of that kiln.

The day is moving on and so should I. The meeting is over and the deed... done.
They will go about their lives holding their secret like children hold a candy in their
pockets, they will smirk at the office water-cooler and they will giggle behind their
computer screen.

But I know. I know their secret and here in the gloom of the undergrowth, I am the King
of Secrets.
I will reign in my domain again tomorrow, like the coward I am.